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I tried so hard to keep up with him. What pathetic amounts of energy I had went to him. It wasn't enough.

I had no sense of my ability to cope alone. And I had a sense of dread about it. I reconfigured myself not to think about it. So any ending would only happen on his schedule. Although paradoxically, by putting me in a position where it really came down to my very survival.

People felt so sorry for him. And vaguely guilty about not really caring about yours truly. We are a pragmatic species, I guess that's how we ensure overall survival.

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