I know where I want to be, I'm just having a bit of trouble getting there.

I'm still not sure how much I can attribute to the limits of my condition and how much I could overcome with better planning.

The self help course I've been doing looks at this stuff, but it's very brief and I really feel I've only just started. They do have another course starting in a few months time which is more specifically focussed on working out your levels and what you can do - I've registered my interest in this.

In the meanwhile, I'm wishing there was some sort of educated helping person who specialised in this sort of thing. Have not met one yet. Case Manager is on holidays and her stand-in is the person who does phone duty, so when she gets back I will be asking her. But I'm not wildly optimistic.

I find myself looking longingly at books and wishing I had the beans to read them and telling myself there's always tomorrow. Daydreaming about things I'd like to think about, and wishing I could get the beans to do so but never being able to think clearly enough for long enough.

Thought and voice are particularly hard to find at the moment and are sorely missed.