This morning I dreamt a I had a talking horse. She was supposed to make getting around easier for me, but she preferred to use public transport and was quite up front about her preference for *not* carrying me.

Apparently she had bad fetlocks, whatever they are.

I tried my best to get along with her, but not only was she not really doing what I needed her to do, she was a bit big for the yard and had a really annoying personality.

As I was waking up it occured to me that we had been incredibly irresponsible in getting a horse, given we had done no research about them and so had no clue about how to look after them. It was very unlike us and frankly, I felt ashamed.

At a bit of a loose end at the moment.

But also aware that I've got things to do that I am avoiding. I did one of these tasks last night and did feel a whole lot better for it, so if I do the next one now, I should theoretically feel fantastic.

~~~

Last night I dreamt I was in America. I was having trouble identifying one of the little native animals that was hanging round outside my special hi-tech science lab, but I think it was some sort of raccoon. It was wearing pants.

There was also a walrus.

The area around this hi-tech science lab was planted with Australian plants as some sort of cultural exchange gesture which was nice (except there were no banksias - I went looking) and although I wanted to be alone, a whole bunch of Americans turned up because as everyone knows, Americans are fucking friendly and outgoing and they just don't know when to stop being loud and friendly and let you get some rest.

At least, that's how it seemed on the surface: this was also a high security area and I also had the impression I was being very closely watched. It was most disconcerting. On the other hand, the dream was in vivid colour, which made up for the weird undercurrent, and the overpriced goods in the souvenir shop.

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Later:
I just made the phone call I've been avoiding for weeks/months. Oh boy. Not too hard. And not surprisingly someone will have to call me back, so it's not over yet in fact it's only just begun. But now the process is underway and it's now at least in part, out of my hands. I think I owe myself a nice afternoon for that.

This morning I dreamt I was at a market. It was full of little deli-type shops selling Japanese food. I was wondering round feeling overwhelmed by the number of exotic and beautiful delicacies I could choose from and most temptingly, every stall had for sale a sample pack of doughnuts: one with pink icing, one dusted with sugar and a couple of others that didn't stand out.

Of all the fabulously interesting things I could choose from, it was the pink-iced donuts that were really tempting me.

However, I wasted so much time walking from stall to stall admiring all the food (and the pink-iced doughnuts in particular) and wondering who to buy the doughnuts from, that they all closed up before I bought any and I had to leave, pink-iced doughnutless. I was rather annoyed with myself. And hungry.

In real life, I rarely eat doughnuts and when I do, they are hot, jam filled ones and are either purchased and eaten at South Melbourne Market or purchased and eaten on a beach, ideally in winter. Usually as I eat them I reminisce about the *real* doughnuts we used to get when I was young: we got them from a bus permanently parked opposite the sea wall and they were prepared and cooked right there, not cooked elsewhere then reheated like they are now, and which had hard crusts on them but when you bit into them the whole thing would collapse into nothing and if you weren't careful you'd sustain third degree burns from the jam.

So I'm figuring the pink-iced doughnuts must stand for something deep, I just don't know what. Nonetheless, I've been hanging out for some all day. 10B has just bought me doughnuts from the bakery (alas, too late in the day for pink-iced ones) and I've eaten three, but I'm still puzzled by why I'd dream about them because the three I've eaten have reminded me again taht cold doughnuts without a centre, with or without icing, are really not that nice.

~~~

10B went to the dentist today so he has been saying 'garg', drinking soup and tending to my doughnut requirements, bless his cotton socks. AND he took me on a wild and crazily impulsive trip to a wool shop because we're wild and crazily impulsive people, or maybe because I looked like I'd cry if he didn't (I haven't gotten out much lately and it's really starting to show). But bless him all the same, because he bravely had a filling done and he looks so cute when he's mildly distressed.

~~~

A very nice pathology nurse came by today, he told me that the word on my house among the path nurses of Melbourne is that it's 'haunted by cats'.

I would have thought our house was warmed by cats, or maybe soothed by cats. Possibly enlivened by cats (only not today on account of the weather). Silly path nurses and their inappropriate verbs. I would have chased him away with a few inappropriate verbs of my own if he wasn't armed with something sharp.

~~~

Oh and back to dreams again: the little market in my dream(kind of an arcade and food hall really) was part of a larger place that I often dream about that seems to consist entirely of shops selling all manner of exciting food. There's even a place that sells a really fantastic Thai-style/stir fry dish that has usually sold out by the time I get there, although the place has comfy enough chairs where you can look out the window, so I often prop there for a bit with an iced coffee or something. Occasionally in the dream I have gotten there early enough to get some of this fabulous dish. It has this really amazing mix of spices, with a fragrance something akin to what you'd get in a a Thai beef salad except that it's stir-fried and somehow richer. There is always a queue of people waiting for it. The chef's Italian and he also does a good pasta as well, but this dish is so good everything else kind of pales in comparison.


I'm not sure what this says about me, except maybe that I think food is nice. And possibly that I attribute far more meaning to it than perhaps I should.

~~~

And I'm trying to be a better person again. It's a work-in-progress but sometimes I find myself being more concerned about it than at other times. Y'know, more aware of those flaws you bitch about in other people and then realise you yourself possess in bucketloads. Things you wish weren't there because if you stopped being such a blatant hypocrite, you could criticise others with impunity.

I figure on leaving the bit about not being such a judgemental bitch to the next lifetime, when I hope to come back as the Minister for Immigration.