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But Wait, There's More.

My mood is not great at the moment. I get upset about minor irritations, even while I am feeling the pain of the major problems. I thought getting upset about the little things was what you did when you weren't aware of the overarching reasons for your distress, seems a bit rough that this isn't true.

Right now my body is driving me crazy. Even while the healed/healing fracture doesn't cause a lot pain, my right leg stiff and sore and my entire body has to compensate for its weakness. Large parts of my right leg are numb. Granted this is better than pain but it still feels wrong, like it's not there, or that it belongs to someone else. My left leg - the good one - also has problems that would be significant if they weren't overshadowed by the problems with the right leg. I get swelling and tightness on both sides that's uncomfortable and unfixable.

I cannot roll around freely, bend easily or even flop on the couch without thinking, adjusting and creaking. I have very little sense of what I can and can't do. And when I want to pull into myself emotionally, I have trouble because my body does not feel like it should, and I feel like I am staying in a motel, not my own body.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
pondhopper
Mar. 10th, 2012 01:25 pm (UTC)
Bodies can be such traitors.
:(
All I know is that whenever I have any kind of pain or discomfort bodily speaking, I am not nice to hang out with.
That motel comparison is very apt.
elmsley_rose
Mar. 10th, 2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
Having had my very first appmt at my psych, I explained that I experienced the same phenonoma - upset over the little things. He said that it's easier to get upset over the little things. Getting openly upset over the big things, all the time - it's too much for a person.

I'm coming from a different point of view - I'm worried at how little distress I'm feeling over my big problems, and worried the repression is going to blow up in my face.

To be experiencing both simulatenously - well, remember that your friends love you. And of beautiful days and growing a new guava plant....
splodgenoodles
Mar. 13th, 2012 07:47 am (UTC)
Thankyou! I needed to hear that.
elmsley_rose
Mar. 13th, 2012 08:04 am (UTC)
Hugs
(Deleted comment)
splodgenoodles
Mar. 13th, 2012 07:50 am (UTC)
Oh hell yes!

Did you have to learn to do steps? I've been taught the very useful reminder:
"Good legs go to heaven, bad legs go to hell". Meaning that on the way down the bad leg goes first, on the way up the good leg.

It's great, but I *still* have to stop at steps and almost say it out aloud or I do it the wrong way.

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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