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I don't want to be a new person. A better person. A wiser person.

I don't need to be. I'd like to be more able to do things, more able to get more out of my life. I'd like my external circumstances to improve, I'd like our society to improve and I wish I could do more to make those things happen.

But unlike when I was younger, I don't feel a hunger to be transformed.

I have no desire to feel bad about where I was last year, three years, or thirty years ago. To feel like I need to explain or apologise and hope I'm better now. Nah. I did what made sense to me at the time. I accept what I've learned, but that's not about denigrating myself for the fact that I had things to learn.

It was such a strong desire, but it's gone.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
pondhopper
Jan. 22nd, 2014 03:40 pm (UTC)
It's called "maturity".
:)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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