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Training To Be 90.

Ouch. Everything hurts today. Judicious application of codeine has been required. Sweet, sweet codeine.

I have also cursed the inventor of the straight-backed chair just to be on the safe side. Human backs were not made for such tortuous devices.

For my next trick, I should probably wash. (Spend too much time being sick and you really do lose sight of these things. It did take me several years to hit this point of smelly shamolicnessitude, but it did happen eventually. Of course, if everyone stopped washing every day we'd be well on the way to solving our water crisis, and no one ever died from body odour and a whole new industry would develop around the production of nosegays, so really I'm doing the right thing, for all our sakes and you should be grateful and stop looking so horrified.) Can't say I feel like it though - my brain's futzing out on me and it seems all too complicated. And I'm expecting my GP at any moment which on the one hand makes me think I should wash lest I am deemed to be Not Coping and on the other has me worried that the moment I start she'll turn up.


Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll wash. Oh and then I have to give the cat her thyroid medication, complain to the Council about a noise problem we're having, and pay some bills and maybe worry about all these news reports I keep seeing about the rise in violent crime. Oh and we bought ourselves a new set-top box a few weeks ago, and I still can't get the fucker to work properly, so I need to ring the helpline.

Then I'll go out and stare at the workmen that are reasphalting our street. I'll take my walking stick with me just in case I need to wave it at anyone.

Good times!

But in order not to feel like too much of an old woman, I think I'll not wear any underpants.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 8th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
Just make sure that when you wave your walking stick at the workmen they don't see that you're not wearing underpants - oh, unless there is a real hot man there.

Just in case we don't buy the same problematic set top box, what brand did you get?
Dec. 12th, 2008 07:55 am (UTC)
We bought a DGTEC dg-hd 5210

Cost about $100 at Dick Smith.

It is truly a piece of crap. Just browsing the forums, it seems that I'll face further troulbe if/when I can actually get it to work. Apparently the company knows this. People who ring and complain are being sent patches etc. For them that know how to play round with this stuff, I'm sure that's great.

But the fact they're still selling these things even though they know they're dodgy...someone ought to be taken out and shot. Oh and they claim the helpline is staffed until 8pm. Um...no.
Dec. 12th, 2008 07:59 am (UTC)
Can you take it back? I had to do that with our first set-top box, I just could not get it to work.
Dec. 8th, 2008 05:02 am (UTC)
WHen I go senile I shall be sure to wave my cane at the workmen and yell "I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!"

I think it will be the perfect revenge for women who've ever been hooted at.

I feel you on the washing thing. Baby wipes are starting to look awfully good, as is the admittedly pricey and a bit gross spray-on hospital-style dry shampoo. Hopefully this is just because I've been sick.

As for straight backs, I just wandered off a while ago to Google on how exactly the hell did women in bustle skirts sit down in those damn things anyway, and apparently one perches carefully on the edge of things. I was a bit disappointed that the special furniture wasn't fancier; this is after all the culture which created the mustache cup, why shouldn't a bustle bench be something a bit more interesting than, well, a bench? I was expecting a special bustle-supporting device or some such. At least they had good corsets to hold their backs up.
Dec. 11th, 2008 12:56 pm (UTC)
Mustache cup?
Dec. 8th, 2008 05:57 am (UTC)
You've just made me think that if you haven't read, or seen the move of 'Howl's Moving Castle', then possibly you should. In it, the heroine is transformed into a 90 year old woman. I believe Dianna Wynne Jones wrote it after suffering from a terrible joint condition that made her feel as though she was practicing to be an old woman before her time...
Dec. 8th, 2008 11:21 am (UTC)
brilliant book that!
Dec. 11th, 2008 12:57 pm (UTC)
It's sitting just over there on my desk!


I think I read the first few chapters a while ago - I shall restart at your recommendation. :-)
Dec. 11th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
It takes a while to get started, but it's well worth it. And while the Studio Ghibli anime is very different, it's also well worth a look. :)
Dec. 8th, 2008 09:55 am (UTC)
Your mischievous factor goes up when your beans go down.

I dunno. I've been knocked almost senseless by body odour on public transport. It just may kill in some cases, at leats in enclosed and tight places.
Dec. 8th, 2008 11:19 am (UTC)
so long as the bloomers you do not wear are of a deep purple hue.
Dec. 8th, 2008 01:28 pm (UTC)
Lol when I used to really hate my job I used to get through the day knowing I was not wearing knickers under my hideous outfit.
Invisible resistance! ;)
Dec. 8th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
you've been rick rolled
Dec. 8th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
It never ends, hey.
Dec. 9th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC)
hope you feel better VERY soon

a new icon for your entries where you wipe off the ability for your friends to comment.
Dec. 11th, 2008 12:58 pm (UTC)
Re: hope you feel better VERY soon

That's terrific!
Dec. 16th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
*sigh* washing regularly is indeed overrated and exhausting. It's amazing how often I can get by with just changing my clothes...
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )


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