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Today.

Today I hope to go for a swim. Or at least a sit in the water.

I bought bathers last summer, and I still haven't worn them. I have a carer due today: I think that might today's excursion.

~~~

Am having a rough time. Am hoping at least some of it is PMS, if not all. I had a nice chat to my shrink yesterday: we'll increase the medication (escitalopram) in a fortnight if I haven't improved. I suspect I will have improved, but it's nice to have a fallback position.

We touched on that thorny issue of objective and unchangeable reasons for unhappiness. But it's still the case that I also have a treatable illness called depression - I have noticed that I am putting a negative spin on *everything* at the moment, including the objectively good stuff. And that there are periods during which these problems exist but my mood is less flat, therefore depression is not inevitable.

We've also talking about a few things I can actually sort out that might help. In particular, I need to have a *really long* talk with one of the more senior gastros, or maybe the nurse, at the IBD clinic (just not one of the baby gastros basically), about what my options are with treatment. I'm feeling really overwhelmed by all the medical unknowns at the moment, I have significant choices to make and I need a bit of help sifting through them. Interestingly, she considers this stuff to be too specialist for her, where I had thought this stuff would be her department.

If nothign else, it was nice to have confirmation that there's nothing unreasonable about feeling overwhelmed. I've become very used to having to carry the can, self-educate and run my own show. People with normal chronic illnesses don't have to do this quite so much, so to be in the (relatively) normal camp for a while is quite a weird feeling.

~~~

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
liddle_oldman
Apr. 22nd, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC)
Bathers? Swimsuit? Waterproof shoes? Something else obvious that I, a boy person, would not think of?
splodgenoodles
Apr. 23rd, 2010 03:24 am (UTC)
Giant inflatable shoes. You put them on and float over the water. Naked of course, because we don't have swimsuits here, only bathers.
liddle_oldman
Apr. 25th, 2010 06:44 pm (UTC)
There is such a thing as waterproof shoes -- my wife wears them into the lake, so she doesn't have to walk on pebbles.

I assume, then, that a bather is a swimsuit. ;)
ghymoreid
Apr. 23rd, 2010 02:10 am (UTC)
I think I know how you feel. I've grown very used to being the one in the room who knows more about my condition, despite not having gone to university for thousands of years. Had it again last Friday when the orthopaedic registrar had to excuse himself to go and look up Ehlers-Danlos. It is exhausting, especially when treatment options are being considered. (I'm currently in a tug of war - one surgeon wants to go in and do more, one favours leaving it alone, and I can understand both sides of the argument ...)
splodgenoodles
Apr. 23rd, 2010 03:25 am (UTC)
Maybe you really should go the tug-of-war. Set them both to it, go with the winner's treatment plan.
splodgenoodles
Apr. 23rd, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
Oooh oooh!

Pistols at dawn! Yes.
ghymoreid
Apr. 23rd, 2010 04:36 am (UTC)
Ooh, now that I'd like to see. :D
liddle_oldman
Apr. 25th, 2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
It is an interesting thing that many people -- especially those with some lesser known or orphan disease -- know far more about this disease than pretty much any doctor. I think part of the problem is that doctors hate to admit either that you know something they don't or that they don't know everything.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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