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There is a chook roasting in the oven. And I even put in some stuffing. There's a chicken neck on the floor which is alarming the cat. She is entranced by the smell, buy terrified by the novelty of it all.

I am thinking about vegies, and I do have some, but I have run out of spoons. I'm afraid roasts are still a bit too hard. It's partly the physical stuff, and it's also my inability to multitask, and to switch off mentally when there's something happening that I have to attend to later but not now. I'm not so comfy just having it in my head that there's something I need to watch in another room. I'm a worry wart and that takes energy from me. Until and unless I can relax and learn to really 'set and forget' (like I can with the rice cooker). it's going to be more work than it's probably worth. One job at a time is quite enough.

And yes, in case you're wondering, the process of getting laundry done can be too much sometimes as well. Sometimes it's not the physical, it is cognitive overload because nothing is done automatically. Procedures have to be thought through every time.

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But I am rather pleased I decided to try stuffing. I dunno how it will taste, but I can see the process now and on a good or well planned day it won't be intimidating. Also, I figure (again with good planning) that I can use my carers better for food preparation than I have been lately.

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I am watching my mood yo-yo around more than I used to. I am getting a bit better at detaching and observing.

I am practising being nice to myself. It's something I think I should practice more - my shrink was a little surprised last week when I explained that simply doing things for pleasure and striving to be 'kind to yourself' can get awfully dull.

I suppose it's partly the Protestant work ethic. I need to mellow it a bit simply because it means I waste time being unable to do stuff when I could spend that time doing the kindness-to-self thing and paradoxically, get back to doing what needs doing more efficiently.

But it is also about finding happiness/meaning/satisfaction in what's happening beyond your own little self. Connection with others. If I'd been a parent, I guess I'd have had it all happen that way. In other words - it's normal human instinct to seek opportunities for caring.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
maju01
Feb. 11th, 2012 04:11 pm (UTC)
I hope roasts get easier for you, because they are one of my favourite "set and forget" meals and they are delicious. (I roast my vegetables in the pan alongside the chook.) And you get yummy leftovers.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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